Guest Cat Of The Month For May: Furball

Name?
Polly Furball

Nickname?
Furball, Puffball, Fluffy knickers.

Age?
Appx. 2.5 to 3 years.

Owner?
Bea and Roy.

Catchphrase?
“Brush me!” and “Now!”

Favourite habit?
Dribbling, fidgeting and putting the other cat in its place.

What constitutes a perfect evening for you?
I like to watch the birds and mice come to the window at dusk for their dinner and then I give them a good and scary stare through the glass. Then it's time for my supper, generally Sheba and Purina washed down with a little bottled water. After dining I enjoy taunting Lentil (the other cat) until she clears off and I get the nice warm spot she was sleeping on (usually the male staff's lap). I then demand a good brushing, when the male staff gets tired I'll move over to the female staff (food lady) and make her continue. Then after at least half an hour of rigorous noisy bum washing I will take a nap. I also like to try and coincide my litter box manoeuvres with meal times, this excites the staff and gives then a bit of exercise.

Favourite food?
I love Sheba salmon, beef and chicken and Purina One. I also love the grass the female staff's daughter grew for me. This enables me to leave some lovely gifts in the footware of the staff and in the dog's bed.

Defining moment of your life?
I think this would have to be the moment I was found on the streets of Wales, in thick snow, starving and matted, by a lovely human, Lesley, who found me a new home and gave me a second chance. She obviously could not resist my utter cuteness and hypnotic eyes and still does not realise it was I who found her.
Unfortunately due to the matting I had to have my 'parts' and tail shaved, this was highly embarrassing and not at all defining of my supreme catness in any way.

Any enemies?
Lily the utterly vulgar Labrador / Great Dane cross that also lives here. She too big and completely stupid. She leaves drool everywhere and has no manners at all. Clippers and /or scissors.

If you could do one thing to make the world a better place for felines, what would it be?
I would buy an island for us all to live on and it would be maintained by hand picked staff and stocked with mice, birds fish and fields of cat nip. We would hold the batting about world cup every year and there would be a special prize for the most inventive hairball hurling.

If you could meet a celebrity who would it be and why?
I would like to meet Michael Marshall Smith and interrogate him into telling me how he found out the cat teleportation secret. I would also like to meet Patrick Moore because he looks like he has a nice comfy lap and we both like to stare at the moon.

Which one of the cats in Under The Paw would you like to be stuck in a lift with?
Although I adore The Bear and have a huge soft spot for Pablo, it would have to be Janet. The time would fly past as we share and compare tales of our tails and admire their utterly perfect bushiness.

Biography?
I was born in north Wales about 3 years ago. From then till February 2009 it's all blank. I was found wandering the streets in thick snow. I was matted, filthy, flea ridden and covered in sores. I was starving and 3kg under weight but couldn't eat because my mouth was full of ulcers. Then came Lesley, my Guardian Angel, she cleaned me up and took me to a vet who shaved my bits and gave me pills and potions to make me well. She tried to find my owners without success. So she went on to Facebook on the interwebs and asked if anyone could help by giving me a good and loving home where all my wishes and demands would be catered for immediately at the drop of a meow. Within 5 minutes Lesley's friend, Lindsey (a cat lady from birth) said she knew her parents would want me and a week later (on Valentines Day) Lindsey and her fiancé Kerry ( a self confessed cat man) drove from Northampton to North Wales to come and get me. They even stayed in a Travelodge on Valentines night! They must really love me! (little do they know I picked them too with the use of my long distance telekinetic cat power). I settled into my new home very quickly. The resident cat, Lentil, knows I'm the boss, I've put on weight, my butt fur has regrown and I 'm giving orders to the staff. I am Furball and I rock.