Friday 30 January 2015

Guest Reader's Cat Of The Month: Simba


Naughty Paws, Stinky Butt and Baby Boo (which I secretly love)

Theme tune?
Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit.

4, although I can always hear the tall ones saying I act about 4 months old.

Misti and Tobias.
Mum always gives me the best belly rubs until I give her an over zealous nip to tell her that's quite sufficient and dad let's me sit on his chest blocking the view of his favourite television shows just because I'm a handsome panther.

Brief biography?
I came to live with the tall ones after they saw an advertisement in a shop window and the next day they came and saw me.
I was the only one who was sitting nicely with my foster parents whilst the others were acting like savages so they decided that I was the one for them.
The next day when they came and got me I was caught in a rather unfortunate situation where my sister had got me in a headlock then I proceeded to bite her in the face to get set free... I heard mum and dad say perhaps that I wasn't quite as placid as they first thought!

'Play with me'

Favourite habits?
I like to drag my elephant toy up and down the stairs, meowing loudly to announce my fresh kill. I also enjoy smashing things. One time mum received some lovely purple glass tea light holders as a gift, so I knocked all 4 of them off the shelf one by one because I thought they were cursed. You're welcome.

Perfect Evening?
Mum gets in at 6:30 every day, then at 7 on the dot I come downstairs from my nap and start announcing that I would like some dinner. It would be followed with cuddles on the blanket whilst nestled in between mum and dad and then I like to end the night playing 'wild panther' where I run around the room acting like a possessed demon.

Favourite food?
Mini doughnuts. I freaking love these things so much that I once broke into a box of them, stole one and then ate it under the table.

Defining moment?

I suppose that would have to be the time I escaped the house for the first time. I'm a house cat you see, mum says the road outside the house is too busy and apparently I'm not too street smart (which I totally disagree with). Anyway, mum and her sister were outside in the garden having loads of fun and I was getting jealous so I decided to jump up to the tiny top window in the dining room and squeeze my body through it, mum heard me telling her that I needed help and they burst out laughing which I thought was quite rude seeing as I was stuck half way out the window then landed on the ground and belly crawled towards her. Needless to say I haven't tried this again.

Mum has a friend with a really mean siamese cat called Claudia who hates me for no good reason.  Claudia has been in MY house twice now, to which I welcomed her with friendliness and was received with beastly behaviour, hissing, growling and her chasing me.
This was quite an embarrassing ordeal as I am twice her size but she is really vicious!
Mum says I'm getting a little sister soon so hopefully I can train her and  she will help me defend my castle better.

If you could do one thing to make the world a better place for felines, what would it be?
Ban hoovers. Like why do then even exist? All they do is make my carefully placed gribbly bits disappear and make such a terrible noise that I have to retreat to the top stair and watch it until I am certain that it's been locked away.

Which celebrity would you most like to meet?
Jackson Galaxy. He once made a really mean siamese cat turn into a nice one so maybe he can help me with my siamese bully.

Which of the cats in Under The Paw, Talk To The Tail and The Good, The Bad And The Furry would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?
Shipley. He seems like he's up for a laugh and would enjoy a good ole tea light smashing.

Friday 16 January 2015

George selfie

My mum's cat George took some selfies using her iPad earlier this week. This one was for his profile pic on the mysinglegingercat site.

Sunday 4 January 2015

Bear break

I've got an unusually huge amount of writing to do at the moment, so I'm going to take a break from doing @MYSADCAT tweets for the time being. The Bear also tells me that he'd like time to work on his latest volume of goth poetry under conditions appropriate to an artist of his seriousness (i.e. without me poking a camera into his face). Thanks for all your lovely messages over the last couple of years and we hope to see you again before long.

P.S. To those who've asked if there is a new book about The Bear on the horizon: there will indeed be a follow-up to The Good, The Bad & The Furry, which will be published by Little Brown in October this year. Also, The Good, The Bad & The Furry will finally be published in America in April.