Guest Rock'n'Roll Cat Of The Week: Morag, Owner Of Joe From Wolf People

Name

Morag

Nicknames

Mini Morag,  Catsini, Mini Catsini, Raggins, McRaggins , Baggins, Taggins, Mo-rag, Calamari Johnson,  Ragtag McTavish, Cat Pipe, Cat Tube, Maxi Jabsticks,  Cretin Box, Fuzz Warbler, Massachusetts,  Skinny McBag O’Fluff, Arrow Mouse, Grappler, The Gribbler, Beatrice Rotter, Spanish Rat, Scuba Diving Lobster Pot and Velocicat.

Theme Tune

“Y’All Ready for This?” by 2 Unlimited.

Age

4?

Owners

Joe and Kelly.

Catchphrase

Hello How Are You Fine Thanks Goodbye (i.e moving too fast for niceties).

Favourite Habits

Running. Running as fast as I can. I like to go really fast, in and out of doors, back and forth across the living room, sometimes incorporating a quick street dance routine that I’ve been working on in the week, accompanied with a quick furtle (technical term) of the paw under the edge of the rug in front of the fire. Also divebombing from the top of the wardrobe onto the bed at 3am in the morning, I love this, and so do they, judging by their loud exclamations! I also like staring, sitting just out of eyeshot and looking right into the middle of your very being.

What constitutes a perfect evening for you?

After a day of sleeping and waiting patiently by the door for the big leggy cats to get home, I like to greet them by running as fast I can at their feet as soon as they step in the house, this is great fun. I then do this really cool trick of pretending for the next 30 minutes that I want something, but then not actually going through with it, say for example: staring at my bowl, watching the food go in, then turning round and just walking off. Again, due to the loud noises they make in reaction to these activities, I know they enjoy it. After tea I spend the entire evening either practising dancing, or waiting for a warm lap to become available. The warmest and hairiest of the leggy cats is especially warm when working or when attempting anything productive, and I find draping myself over its shoulders or lying on its hands particularly satisfying. I really enjoy this, and I let it know by wiping my nose on its face.

I have a brief exercise period just as they are going to bed, which involves trying to get between the cushions and the sofa back using only my wrists, or shinning along the back of the sofa, with my ears in the “fight” position, just to let them know how cool I am. I then retire to the top of the wardrobe ready to divebomb them from a great height at approx 3am. I do all this whilst purring at a purr level I like to call “knackered old diesel engine filled with coins”.

However, the evening can change rapidly if one of them decides to play the wiry wooden box thing or listen to one of those round shellac plates that scratches around on the table. They call this music, I hate it. I dance to the music in my head.

Favourite food

Yoghurt.

Defining moment of your life

The day I got introduced to yoghurt, or should I say, the day I introduced myself to yoghurt...

Any enemies?

Chickens, most living things in a 5 mile radius, namely pheasants.

If you could do one thing to make the world a better place for felines what would it be?

Yoghurt for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The ability to make any door  open at will, be it a cupboard door or one adjoining two rooms, any door really...

If you could meet a celebrity who would it be and why?
Cheryl Cole or Ray Mears. Cheryl is just a great dancer, I love to copy her moves and dream of being as good as her one day. Ray could teach me how to live off the land and be self sufficient, rather than waiting endlessly for these idiots to feed me. I'd like to know things such as whether I can eat all the woodlice in the house or not. Plus I like his shorts.

Which one of the cats in Under The Paw and Talk To The Tail would you like to be stuck in a lift with?

The Bear. I’d like to try and cheer him up with my dancing.

How does the life of a cat affiliated to a critically acclaimed acid folk-blues-rock band differ to that of your everyday run-of-the-mill cat?
Well I don't think they appreciate how much of an influence I am on them. My constant meowing, squeeking and beeping are all ideas for riffs and melodies, and I can hear much of that influence on the "Steeple" album. For example when I purr incessantly all night I'm actually working out very complex atonal bass patterns, and the intro to "Dorney Reach" was a result of me improvising around a particular troublesome furrball at around 3am. I was quite disappointed to find out that I'd been sent to the cattery during the making of the new album, "Fain", at my house. I thought I was on my way to a professional recording studio, or a meeting with some high power record label types, but in the end I spent a week listening to Radio 1 surrounded by idiots. I never forgave them, and when I returned for mixing and mastering, I didn't bother handing out any more advice. I tried to demonstrate my skills on the desk, but was again ignored. I they had four paws and a tail imagine how much better they'd be.

Compared to other cats I'm a little busier with Joe being in a band, there's a lot of work to do. I'm constantly having to check out guitar cases for comfort, check the speaker grille cloth on the amps for tautness and strength, helping Joe change guitar strings by biting the uncut ends and running off with the thinner more squiggly strings etc. There's a lot to do. I don't think other cats appreciate it.

A few words on Morag from Joe:

She was born on a farm outside Grassington, North Yorkshire, surrounded by a 1000 other cats of various heritage. Looking for a kitten, we answered an advert in the local paper, and were immediately offered both her and her brother. Unfortunately the family’s young children were dressed as pirates while we there to pick her up. I say unfortunately as at the sight of the huge tinfoil sword being swung toward it, the male kitten ran under the cupboard and only came out 5 hours after we left. Reckon it had all the sense genes as the newly named Morag proceeded to terrorise our house for the next 6 months with her outlandish street dance routines and kamikaze runs headfirst down the stairs. She’s mellowed out in her teenage years now, a strong bout of worms at the age of 1 gave her a bit of perspective, and she’s maturing nicely, turning into a right grumpy old beanbag. She’s probably the best cat I’ve ever had.

Wolf People's AMAZING new album, Fain, is released on the the 29th April.