Sunday 13 July 2008

Meow That's What I Call Meowsic

Since I revealed my slightly embarrassing habit of singing my own "reworked" versions of pop classics to my cats, I've had quite a few emails from people admitting they do the same thing. Writes Under The Paw reader Susan of her mogs, Patchie and Cookie: "We have several tunes ours endure regularly, such as 'What's that coming over the hill, is it a Patchie, is it a Patchie?', 'I'm bring Patchie back, them other moggies don't know how to act' and 'At the Cookie, Cookiecabana'." Similarly, a work colleague of Dee's regularly sings his Spaniel, Poppy, his own version of a well-known Commodores hit ("Once, twice, three times a Spaniel").

I'm not sure what all this proves, but I know it makes me feel significantly less ridiculous for penning alternative versions of Foreigner's Hot Blooded ("Hot tabby/Check him and see/He's got a fever of a hundred and three..."*), Andrew Gold's Thank You For Being A Friend ("Thank you for being a ginge...") and Billy Joel's Vienna ("Slow down, you ginger cat/You're so ambitious for a... ginger cat"). Still, I can't help thinking it's time I expanded my repertoire of originals beyond 2002's "oversimplistic and childish" (demo reviews page, The New Moggy Express) Shipley-inspired Little Black Cat ("Little black cat, little black cat, little black cat, you know where it's at"). This is a song that, in addition to possessing a reedy melody to which age has not been kind, also is no longer lyrically relevant, now Shipley could not in any sense be described as "little".

* I hasten to point out the "hotness" in this case refers purely to the really surprisingly warm temperature of Ralph's fur during the summer months. Ralph, while not without his rock star tendencies, wishes to disassociate himself with the lascivious content of Foreigner's original version, which speculates about a potential post-show encounter with a female fan sans boyfriend ("Can we make a secret rendezvous/Oh before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who...") and is clearly written so the band concerned can use it as a tool to seduce potential groupies ("Do you do more than dance?"). "That is not to say," continues Ralph, lapsing into the slightly irritating quasi-American 'dude' accent that he uses from time to time while talking about his favourite bands, "that Foreigner aren't, like, way underrated."


Brenda said...

I wouldn't offend the new cat in our home with my singing ... but I've been reading aloud to her as I do my blog-surfing. I'm not sure if that's just as bad ... or worse! Anyway, just found your blog and am quite enjoying your writing!

Beanie said...

I do this, too! I especially like when Christmas comes around and I sing "Glossy carols".

Sung to the tune of "O' Tannenbaum":
O' Gloucestercat, O' Gloucestercat,
How furry are your little paws,
O' Gloucestercat, O' Gloucestercat,
You rarely cough up gross hairballs,
Your fur is soft and white and grey,
We'll paint it red and green today,
O' Gloucestercat, O' Gloucestercat,
How furry are your little paws... :-D

Marjan Jeffry said...

I just sing out loud to scare 'em off.. haha. But sometimes they seems enjoy it! Maybe I should try American Idol ... yeah rite!!!

p/s: I just found out your book at a local bookstore. I'm gonna buy it when I get my next pay check. I'm a guy who loves cat too. I want to see what do we have in common ;)

Daniel said...

Humiliation follows: to the tune of the 'Rupert the Bear' theme; "Murphy, Murphy the cat/Everyone knows he's a cat". H'mmm.

And of course (actually for the dog) "Rosie Rosie Rosie Rosie/Ahh ahh ahh ahh ah ahhh!"

Chrissie said...

Is it totally tasteless to sing "Takin' Care of Business" while one is in the litter box? Please tell my mom that it's not only tasteless, but ridiculous and distracting!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad it's not just me! I used to change the words to Volare for my old Spaniel Charlie ("Oh Charlie, oh-oh-oh-oh, he's only one foot four and he'll slobber and he'll snore - you get the picture) and for my cat Timmy it was "Getting Up Is Hard To Do" ("Don't take my bed away from me, etc, etc") as he was a lazy little tyke. The stripy-bummed Tigger has so many variations of songs I couldn't begin list them all...

I either need to get out more, or change my career, I can't decide which :-)

Anonymous said...

Uh-oh. Rumbled.

Our special song for our two is an updated version of Calvin Harris' 'I like all the girls.' I guess you can see where this is going.

I like them black cats, I like them grey cats, I like them tearing up the carpet on my stairs cats' and so on....

Anonymous said...

You do realise that now Patch and Cookie have had their names mentioned on the interweb, they are demonstrating even more diva-like behaviour than usual?! Patchie's daily list of demands and issues as I walk through the door has lengthened to a full 5 minutes and Cookie refuses to get off the bed for less than a grand's worth of Iams.

Anonymous said...

A long time ago i was bouncing around the house cleaning and singing (if you call what i do "singing") Little Richard's Tutti Frutti at the top of my lungs as my lovely gray tabby Marmaduke watched from the back of the sofa.

I thought he looked pleased so i leaned in to better sing to the boy. Almost immediately his ears flattened and his eyes narrowed.

A big open gray paw swooped out from beneath his chest and landed hard across my mouth with an audible THWAP!

Needless to say, i no longer sing rock-and-roll to the cats. We do dance though. To jazz, blues, or hip hop.

Thank you for always making me laugh, for always making me remember...

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natalijah said...

I sing the chorus of a James Brown song..."say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud" to my two black cats, Rocco and Luca.

ShrinkingViolet said...

I have a cat called Booba (Boober) she was named after Boober the Fraggle the one that was always washing socks if I remember correctly but Fraggles didn't wear socks??
So obviously she gets the Fraggle Rock theme tune sang at her alot.

Dance your cares away
Worries for another day
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock!

I may pick her up and dance alittle also I am afraid to confess

Boober also fits quite well in most songs as a replacement word far more than you would think it would.

Unknown said...

have been making up and singing songs to my cats for years!! HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD- becomes 'Hooray for Mister George', Copacabana becomes 'His name was Avid, he was quite rabid, because he dribbled when he purred, he got catspit on his fur',etc. Then there's the Eastenders them tune- You ooo are a pussy cat, mum-um-mee loves you etc.
glad its not just me!!!

Anonymous said...

Pretty much every song I hear can be adapted to fit my cats names in them somewhere - theres also ones that sound like they already have them in! For example, my mum's cat's name is Neo. In message in a bottle, I still stand by the view that sting sings "Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but Neo". Daddy cool can easily be adapted - our pet names for our cats Suzi and Loki are Suzi poozie and Loki pie - shortened to pooey (she had a stinky bum when she was a kitten) and piard (pronounced pie-urd). Daddy cool becomes "naughty, naughty poo, piard's naughty too" over and over. There's also our own remake of Arthur Brown's fire - "piard, I'll take you to burn". Like I said, every song can become tained by my love for my catties