Janet's Spiritual Littermate

As Mark astutely pointed out on last night's brilliant episode of Peep Show, it's very unlikely that you'll find your one true soulmate in the same part of the world as you and not, say, a village in Mozambique. Janet's, it seems, is a cat called Dusty in San Mateo, California. Dusty's taste is, however, a bit classier than Janet's, whose findings I have chosen not to keep, for obvious hygiene reasons.

Janet's Retro Litter Lake: More Discoveries

Name: Blackcurrant Flavour Ice Snapper
Place Of Origin: Bromsgrove
Tagline: "Do not refreeze!"
Estimated vintage: Best Before Date is 10.6.10... so probably about 1987, then.
Signs of attachment: None (dumped heartlessly in the hedge).
Weirdness rating: 5/10

Name: Original Pom-Bear
Place Of Origin: Corby
Tagline: "The Teddy-Shaped Potato Snack!"
Vintage: 2003
Other vital information: "Pom-Bear is The King Of Bears (allegedly)... his fur is a rich golden yellow and is quite short, not at all shaggy or scruffy, but still wonderful to touch and he's great for cuddling."
Signs of attachment: Lots: carried by Janet up three flights of stairs, onto first floor balcony (which also would have entailed death-defying jump across four foot gap between balcony and conservatory roof with packet in mouth).
Weirdness rating: 6/10

Janet's Retro Litter Lake: Latest Find

Name: Expo Stillwater Groundbait
Country Of Origin: Norfolk (yeah, it's a country - do you have a problem with that?)
Tagline: "Marcel Van Den Eynde, 3 Time World Champion" (World Champion at what - having groundbait?)
Vintage: 2-6 years
Signs of attachment: Top garden step priority placement (above Walkers crisp packet, Somerfield carrier bag and something that looked worrying like an extra large algae-flavoured condom).
Weirdness rating: 7/10

Janet's Retro Litter Lake: Today's Item...

Name: Wildlife Choobs
Country Of Origin: France
Formerly Containing: Mini jellybean monkey or koala bear.
Tagline: "Baby Koalas Are The Size Of A Jellybean When They're Born."
Vintage: 7-8 years (estimated).
Signs of attachment: Longing looks, companionable silences, gentle placing on the lawn.
Weirdness rating: 5/10