Sunday, 16 October 2011
Guest Cat Of The Month For October: Nancy
I have a few of my own: ‘The Ebony Warrior’; ‘The Feline Pimpernel’; ‘She Who is Fleet of Foot and Nimble of Mind’. However my owners tend to call me ‘Mowchie-Moo’. If you want to know why, you’ll have to ask them.
Big: Melissa and Phil. Little: Suse and Louis. Honorary: anyone who lives within a 5 mile radius of my house. I don’t believe in monogamy when it comes to feline/human relations.
Taxi for Nancy!
Following people home, either on foot or by jumping into their cars. Visiting local pubs / shops / schools. Getting stranded at aforesaid places and needing to be collected by my owners.
What constitutes a perfect evening for you?
It would start with an early nap, followed by dinner: preferably prawns in melted butter, but a pouch of chunks in jelly is acceptable. Then out through the cat flap to find some friendly humans on the street, who I will follow to one of my three local pubs. Here I will meet and greet staff and regulars, and pop into the kitchen for a few titbits. If it’s cold out, I’ll settle down for a nap in front of the fire. At closing time I’ll pick a customer to follow home, spend the night in their house, and wait for my owners to collect me in the morning and take me home for breakfast.
Prawns, curry, or anything served in my local pubs (except for Pork Scratchings – I nearly cracked a tooth on one once).
Defining moment of your life
Probably the first time I appeared in the local newspaper, when I was about five months old. A star was born.
A ginger tom who lives a few streets away. I won’t dignify him with a name. Let’s just say he’s got a lot to learn about how to treat a lady.
If you could do one thing to make the world a better place for felines what would it be?
I’d invent a road-crossing system for feline pedestrians, like a pelican crossing but with the button at cat height. I would have them installed at 100 yard intervals along every road in the country.
If you could meet a celebrity who would it be and why?
Someone once described me as the feline equivalent of Madonna: sassy, ambitious, talented, and opinionated. I prefer to think of Madonna as the human equivalent of me.
Which one of the cats in Under The Paw and Talk To The Tail would you like to be stuck in a lift with?
Without a doubt, Bootsy. She sounds like my kind of cat. We may both be petite and deceptively cute-looking, but together we could take over the world. If she’s interested, tell her to call me.
I live in Harpenden, Hertfordshire, and became a local celebrity as a kitten, due to my penchant for jumping into strangers’ cars. Contrary to expectations, I never grew out of my fearlessly friendly disposition, and am now feted not only in Harpenden, but by my growing army of Facebook and Twitter followers. My autobiography Sex And The Kitty: A Celebrity Meowmoir is out now.