Thursday, 6 March 2008

I Would Do Anything For Cats (But I Wouldn't Do That): Nine Things I Would Never Do In The Name Of Cat Love

1. Get the names of my favourite two cats tattoed inside a heart on my back, with the word “Forever” inscribed beneath it in gothic lettering.

2. Name a star in honour one or more of my cats.

3. Encourage one of my cats to eat by taking a mouthful of its food, then rubbing my stomach and saying “Yum yum yum”.

4. Check my cats’ horoscopes.

5. Sit my cats down in a circle and read them said horoscopes.

6. Purchase a cat stroller or pushchair.

7. Abandon essential household furniture in order to make way for elaborate oversized scratching posts or imported “cat condos” (e.g. The Naughty Paws Bungalow: RRP $475).

8. Purchase a dressing gown with the name of a cat food manufacture embroidered on it or save up “bonus points” then send off for said garment free of charge.

9. Wear one of these:

28 comments:

joyce pauleen said...

HI,SIX SODDING CATS,
THAT WAS SO FUNNY I WOULD DEFENATELY NOT DO ANY OF THOSE MIND YOU I HAVE MADE ONE OF MY CATS SOXX A COAT AS MY HOUSE IN WINTERS LIKE A FRIDGE .
HIS LITTLE NOSE IS ALWAYS WET AND COLD SO I HAD TO MAKE HIM A COAT.
HES REALLY HAPPY NOW AND DOESENT MIND WEARING IT EITHER .
HUGS AND KISSES
XXX:)XXXX

shirley said...

LOL i would certainly NOT wear that either, my god crass to the max. my daughter would though, and she picks the sleep out of our cat's eyes. i wouldn't do that eugh!
future mad cat lady in the making.

shirley

Helen said...

I know someone who has one of those jackets! She loves her cats.
I am my cats' slave. I do a lot for them. They know how to pull my strings but i wouldn't do most of the things in the list.

P.S. Tom could you post a picture of Janet the right way up?

dinahmow said...

I don't even read a horoscope for myself! (But I do know people who do some of those things.)

Cat Woman said...

Omygosh!!! Since I have actually done several of these things - does this make me a REAL CAT WOMAN????

CatWitch said...

but...but...i really want a kitty pagoda!!!!

Karen Jo said...

I love cats, but I wouldn't do most of those things either.

Alleycat said...

The coat is really cute I would wear.I luv my three cats.

felinesopher said...

I'm a long time catlover -around 30 years now- thank God I didnt do any from your list here;)
I'm new to your blog, but I like it!

Joy Dehany said...

I always said I'd never wipe dangling poo from a cats bum....but...(YACK) I had to chase the foster cat around for ten minutes on Sunday as he had a clingon the size of a slug and I eventually caught up with it before he dragged it across the floor....Lowest point of my life.
:-[

Kimberlee said...

Sigh... I can go ya one worse. Once in a while, one or more of our kitties have gotten infections, and my father and I will regularly drain the pus from them...

It's cheaper than paying the vet to do the same thing, dammit!

I know... Cat Lady-ville, here I come! At least my dad will be there with me!

Jo said...

Right here we go....
I would most definatly not be seen in one of those coats if all the shops in all the word stopped making 'normal' stuff and that is all you could buy!!!!!
No eating of the cat food...
No showing how to use the cat tray...mainly because I wouldn't fit through the little door!
No dressing the cat up....dignity must be preserved at all times...they not dogs you know???
no buying kitty condo's...my cat's have a three seater sofa that we have been shoved off...that should be plenty.
I can only manage 5....I am a lost case!

mummymeow said...

i don't mind getting the cat stroller or push chair...then i can take the fuzzies out for a walk! lol

Anonymous said...

OMG!! Those cat coats are so hideous! I've seen similar ones in the Sunday supplements for dog owners!

Now the star naming thing....that's actually quite a good idea. I'd like to name a star after my baby Suki who passed away aged 18.

Sarah Bagpuss

Cheryl said...

There is no way in God's green earth I would ever wear a jacket like that, unless however I was dressing up as the "crazy cat lady" for Halloween.

The star naming is actually quite a novel idea...

Daniela D. said...

Oh,I did almost everything(except reading horoskops-but,who knows:)but I know wich horoscope sign are they:):)incompatibile!!!!Im pllaning to make the tatoos-but not in the heart:)I ate their food to show them that is good:):)...I love this coats and I would like to have it:)..now I have just couple of shirts:)...collar-Ive tried,but -mission impossible:)...what else?:):):)

CatWitch said...

*snort* though, I would like to buy Twinkie a pagoda (like a condo, but it's a pagoda, see?). I toyed with the idea of a kitty stroller so she and Castro could go on walkies with the dog, and therefore, be a real part of the 'pack', but quickly deep-sixed the idea ;)

Anonymous said...

Well our 8 year old rescue cat 'Cliff' is the star of our family. NO ONE sits on the chair (any chair) that Cliff is sitting on, and on a sunday he gets his own plate of chicken/beef/lamb along with the rest of the 'family'. He has his own bowl.
But we love him

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I have pretended to eat their food & convince them to eat by going yum, yum, yum. Plus their cat scratching pole has pride of place in my living room. Also pick sleepy out of eyes, wipe old cats mouth as he dibbles & clean a bottom in the past. Moved over to make room for cat on my bed & sat in different chair so not to disturb one of my cats. Guess I really am a crazy cat lady.

Anonymous said...

I have removed quite a few "cling on" pieces from my long-haired cat's rear end. Does anybody else wipe their cat's arse?

ShrinkingViolet said...

Why do people think just because you love cats you want to wear t-shirts and coats with cats on. The ones in the picture are hideous.
Although I would probably wear to bed a t-shirt with my actual cats on - may have to look into that :)
I am my cats personal door opener even though we have a cat flap.
I have been know to move to another chair if my cats look comfy or if they are sat on me to not move until I really have to (for a wee etc). We have a medium sized cat scratch post in the living room and blankets and cushion on all their favourite places to sleep (window sills/ontop of fridge & wardrobes etc)
Also my husband has slept in the spare room before as there were too many cats on the bed for him to get in Ha!

hilary said...

um..I like the jacket. (Is there something wrong with me? ) Its being co-ordinated with the matching daughter which is the problem...but the jacket sort of looks Canadian Cozy.....
Just cooked fresh fish ("value" however) for my cat and he looked at me in disgust and walked off so I won't be doing that again...

Sal Smith said...

Thank you for giving me such a good laugh. I'm totally with Anonymous and Shrinking Violet. However, the worst / funniest thing I have ever done for my cats, and I apologise for the grossness, is that one Saturday, my cat had a piece of string hanging out of his backside, which I imagine was from eating next door's leftover joint from the rubbish, and I pulled it out for him (don't try this at home, it could have damaged his innards, but I wasn't thinking straight) - and you can of course imagine what that was like. then flip me, I turned around, and one of the other 5, count them, had a piece of cotton hanging out of his bum and I had to do the exact same thing! I think they had been to a craft class while I wasn't looking lol

Cynthia said...

Unfortunately, I have done #7 and #9 on your list, but my cat sweater was much more tasteful: it was royal blue and the cats knitted into the bottom had little bells on their collars!

One thing I refuse to do is "dress up" my cats in costumes for Halloween or other holidays. I also refuse to turn off my favorite TV show so that my cats can watch their Video Catnip shows. No matter how they may whine or look pitiful. Okay, but only if the show is a re-run.

Jo said...

I have got a star named after my cat Boomer.It was a present from my nephew.
Boomer died when he was 23 and was and still is a little star to us!!

Helen said...

I AM getting a tattoo!! A pawtograph cattoo!! It's all booked in I'll have you know! - Tomorrow!!!!

Here's Keekay penning her prints for me - http://apps.facebook.com/catbook/album/viewphoto/?photoid=5755927

shelleycat said...

hey helen, you must post your cat tattoo onto the website! am desperately trying to find a cat tattoo i like as am so looking forward to having one done too!
regards, thunderpuss!!ya

Helen said...

Hey shellycat...sorry for the 5 year delay in replying!! Here is my tattoo :-)
https://touch.facebook.com/?_rdr#!/photo.php?fbid=34355613798&id=682453798&set=a.480893108798.282676.682453798&__user=682453798