Saturday, 24 October 2009

Ways In Which My Cats Have Brought Me Down To Earth #23455: I Return From My First Ever Film Premier

Me: "I'm home! My friend's film was brilliant, and he was great in it. It has a bull in it, and it's like Paddington Bear and Sideways and Withnail And I rolled into one and funny and amazing to look at! And I met a nice bloke from Peep Show! And I danced to 'Superstition' by Stevie Wonder!"

Cats: "We don't give a crud. We killed a rat."

14 comments:

Julie said...

At least you got a whole rat, I just got the rear half of a small mouse last night, abandoned on the kitchen carpet. (And I'd only been up to Asda, not anywhere exciting).

kathryn evans said...

Tom , you fool! A rat is well know as a 'you've been-to your-first-premier present'. I think you should have shown more gratitude, The Bear will probably post it on your shoe next time.

jmuhj said...

It's wondrous, magical, even, this gift cats have to bring us back from la-la land into the realms of possibility once again.

I hope they enjoyed their aperitif.

DJ Kirkby said...

They killed the rat in your house? Or do they have cat flap freedom? Urgh. Grumplestiltskin's fave gift is screaming frogs.

Poppy Q said...

Hahaha, that was a good present for you. At leaset you didn't step on it in the dark with your bare feet.

Stephanie said...

Was that Ralph and Janet?

Tom said...

Hello Stephanie. Yes, that's Ralph and Janet (yawning at everything I'm telling him). Shipley is just out of shot, biting my arm to tell me to feed him, because obviously there's nothing else that he could possibly eat in the vicinity... P.S. DJ, yes I have got a cat flap (2, actually) so I imagine it was brought in from outside.

Julie said...

You mean you HOPE it was brought in from outside!
When one of ours was young -ie when he only slept 20 hours a day- he went through a phase of bringing in young rats, dropping them squeaking on the carpet and going out to fetch another. I grew to be a dab hand at hooking them out from under the sofa with an umberella handle and catching them with a kid's fishing net, but there was always the odd escapee. I refused to put poison down incase it hurt the cats, so at one point we had two live rats living up the chimney behind the gas fire, coming out at night to eat the dried cat food. We did get them eventually with humane traps baited with chocolate, though they were quite big -and presumably quite domesticated- by then. We were very lucky in that they must have been the same sex.
The real comedy was when my Mum mentioned in hushed tones that we had a 'small rat problem' and someone advised getting a cat...

Stephanie said...

Janet is so funny, he cares neither for his kill or your film premiere. The Bear was probably secretly impressed. (By the film, not the dead rat.)

plasticfruituk said...

Makes the 3 live worms I received within 15 minutes seem quite tame by comparison.

Alison said...

At least a rat you can see immediatley. My two bring in slugs in their coats (they have quite long hair) so that i only realise that I have a little gift when I am rubbing their tummies and I get slimed.

Siamese Caroline said...

A rat! A very valuable gift. My cat Bandit brings me frogs. Generally live, because he likes watching them hopping around and playing with them. Then they hop under something and I have to turn the place upside down to catch them and put them back in the pond. Who'd have a Meezer?!

The Girl said...

Loving the way Janet is yawning in the picture.

"Yeah yeah premiere blah blah blah"

Sarah said...

Nice bloke from Peep Show? I find it really odd that I've adored Mitchell and Webb for a few years now, and I just finished your book today (and subsequently looked up your blog), only to find you mentioning them.
Does Britain have like 12 people in total?
(Loved the book, by the way - thanks for the laughs from Canada)