10 Things My Cats Have Disdained Recently

1. Mismatched dustpan and brush neglectfully and quite frankly hurtfully left, "like some kind of sh***ing hint", near notorious cat dust collection spot behind back door.
2. Mint (or at least it was mint) original radio play promo copy of 'Naked And Warm', the seventh album by Bill Withers (1976, Columbia).
3. All laptops but particularly those with their big nasty plastic mouths open.
4. Use of the phrase "See what I did there?" in stand-up comedy routines or casual banter.
5. The formerly cherished, now catnipless giant catnip mouse in the above photograph.
6. Stringy gribbly bits at the bottom of a bowl of Felix As Good As It Looks - aka As Bad As It Smells - cat food (second fortnight running).
7. The resemblance of Silica tablets to Vidalta hyperthyroid pills.
8. My dad's use of the phrase "DO YOU MIND IF I INTERRUPT?" seventeen times in one afternoon, during his recent visit.
9. The decision of the massively underrated 1970s power pop band Artful Dodger to film this masterful song in 1980, as a promo, four years after it originally came out, in a last ditch attempt for the commercial success their New Wave take on Stonesy rock surely deserved.
10. Human hygiene products. Particularly those that write wacky things on their labels, in an attempt to "be your friend".