Samson Likes The Panic Mouse

Did I need more proof that I have brought my cats up wrong, made them indolent and complacent in the face of the finer things in life? Quite possibly, I did not. Nonetheless, Daniel and Louise, the new owners of Samson, the gargantuan ginger mog who used to live across the road, have provided such proof in concrete form (squidgy, corpulent concrete, anyway) with this video of the newest furry addition to their household having fun with the pricey toy that my cats so superciliously shunned. Seeing this behaviour coming from a cat so clearly built for comfort, not speed, makes the truth sting all the more. I would make some excuse along the lines of "Oh, we obviously had a duff model!", were it not for the fact that the Panic Mouse in the video is the exact same one that, until last summer, when Dee found out that Louise was a fellow cat lover, was languishing in our broom cupboard*. As you can see, Samson's front end is working well, but the back end possibly needs a bit of encouragement. He's a bit like a reverse cat version of a mullet haircut: party in front, business in the back. It's good that he's getting the exercise. I suppose the only worry is that he becomes the Amazing Thin-Fat Cat: a kind of smaller ginger cross between a giraffe and the lovable fat-bottomed martial arts-trained panda from the film I watched over the weekend. Actually, what am I talking about? That's not a worry at all. That would be awesome.

* Despite having a broom cupboard, I do not actually have a broom, nor do I know anyone who does. Brushes of many shapes and sizes? Yes. Dust busters? Certainly. Mops? Sometimes. Brooms? No. In fact, I'm not entirely sure I know what one is. Is it halfway between a mop and a brush? And will it clean up those hard-to-reach regurgitated Purina One biscuits in the corners of my kitchen? Someone please tell me.