Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Just A Few Of The Many Things My Cats Have Disdained Over The Festive Period

1. My favourite 1960s West German vase (smashed by Janet's powertail).
2. The entire emotion of pathos, and all its bastardised forms.
3. My one remaining promotional mug, from my first book, Nice Jumper, circa July 2002: the only one, to my knowledge, left in existence, retrieved from the house of my late grandparent (not smashed - yet).
4. People who use the phrase "Any more for any more?" instead of saving time and annoyance by simply using the phrase "Any more?".
5. Snow-based defecation.
6. My new habit of shouting "REEEOOAAAWLPH!" at Ralph as a way of stopping him shouting "REEEOOAAAWLPH!" outside my bedroom door at 5am.
7. Any use of the word "LOL" outside the context of LOLcats.
8. The unexpected, redoubled return of The Foodwhistle Bird.